Full Episode Transcript
We believe and have always believed in this country that man was created in the image of God, that he was given talents and responsibilities and was instructed to use them to make this world a better place in which to live. And you see, this is the really great thing of America.
It’s time to discover what binds us together. And finding it has the power to transform our world. That’s what I believe. How about you?
All right. Hello, everybody. And welcome to Believe. Great to have you along with us today is a special day. We’re going to be talking about this frustration, this unhappiness that it seems to be in the world today, and how it might be hurting us in America. But we’re with a guy who’s an amazing, positive person. We’re with David Meltzer. And David, you have been a great history of engagement of positivity. And your example has inspired movies. Your ability to talk to people around the world is spectacular. And I know you were just with a bunch of friends [inaudible 00:01:15] and the Direct Selling Association recently. So tell me about that real quick [inaudible 00:01:20] how that went.
Yeah. I didn’t know you were involved with them, but I was just blessed to leave my daughter’s high school graduation party early. I heard I was blessed to leave that with all those kids to fly overnight to Boca Raton for the DSA, the Direct Selling Association’s annual meeting. And I keynote noted that with a talk about happiness, about empowering others to make money, help people and have fun, and the extraordinary opportunities that direct selling gives to people in order to make a lot of money and help a lot of people and have a lot of fun.
But what I really enjoyed most beyond the extraordinary people like Joni Rogers-Kante and others who had invited me down there was that there’s no better industry to illustrate one of the biggest facades that exists today, which I call the extra mile. You see, with the hundreds of people that I work with in my own company and thousands around the world, they all tell me, “David, Mr. Meltzer, I go the extra mile.”
And I was like, “You certainly do, just like my kids do. You go the extra mile every once in a while.” And that doesn’t work in the direct selling world at all, because what happens is people who go the extra mile every once in a while, they live their life in blame, shame and justification, because going the extra mile every once in a while doesn’t do it. And so they go back and say, “Oh yeah, but I went the extra mile here.” And it’s like a kid coming home and breaking curfew, right? In the morning when you take away their phone for breaking curfew, what do they justify? “Oh, but I’m a good kid. I got straight As, dad. Don’t take my phone.”
I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, you went the extra mile every once in a while to get good grades, but not every day, right?” I’m talking about in order to be successful in DSA, in order to be successful in life, you need to enjoy the consistent every day, persistent, without quit, pursuit of your potential. You need to go the extra mile every day to live in the empty mile. And here’s the good, nice thing about it, as you see this in direct selling, the empty mile is less competitive. There’s less resistance. There’s less friction. So the people who live in the empty mile by going the extra mile every day somehow end up with these huge downstreams in unbelievable health, wealth, happiness and worthiness, while everybody else is justifying with blame and shame why they’re not where they want to be, because they went to the extra mile two weeks ago.
Right, right. Well, you’re right. Going that extra mile every day is important. Talk a little bit about … and I just love the way you have the phrases … you have this understanding, and you have this perspective. There’s a lot of people who are not in that place right now. There’s a lot of division that’s in our country, that I wonder how it’s hurting our country. So talk a little bit about the people who aren’t there, who are blaming, who are justifying their position. How do we understand where they are so that we can help them make that transition?
First, you have to meet people where they’re at. So you need to ask them and find people to meet where they’re at that have open minds. I tell everyone that everyone has an open mind at a certain time. Some people have open minds 90% of the time, some people have open minds 10% of the time. So what we want to do first is vet for the open mind to find the open hearts and open hands in order to meet people where they’re at, because most people spend the majority of their time on people that are bleeding them, let alone people that are not open-minded. And so by finding out what people are doing today and then finding out what they like about it and what they don’t like about it, we then can explore through open-ended questions that have an open mind, “Would it help you if I did this?”
You see, if we know what we want in a day, personally, experientially, giving and receiving-wise, we can find out who we can help, but also who can help us. And when we do that, we create inspiration, or in spirit, we realize and we acknowledge, remind, remember and recollect that we are connected to abundance, to infinite everything for everyone, that we don’t have to live in a zero-sum game in a world of not enough, where you’re a victim or just enough, where things come for you, where you’re buying things you don’t need to impress people you don’t like.
But there is actually a world of faith where the source, the omniscient, all-powerful, all-knowing source, the omnipresent source, loves you more than your mom, where you’re always protected and promoted with more than enough of everything for everyone. You don’t have to live in a zero-sum game. You can live in a value-add game, but it does know good. Unless you find the open mind, the open heart and open hand by finding out by open-ended questions, “What are you doing today? What do you like about it? What don’t you like about it? And would it help you if” … That is the template that I’ve created for people to find those open minds, to meet people where they’re at, to teach them gratitude, forgiveness, accountability, and live inspired.
Yeah, I love it. David, when you talk about these sorts of things, when you have this incredible outlook and we recognize that there’s people … You talk about how we can connect with people who are in an unhappy state, a couple things come to mind. It’d be easy to say, “Well, you just must have had everything going your way. You must have never had a challenge in your life. Everything was just perfect for you.” It’s easy for you to say that. But you’ve had a few challenges in your life. Share with our audience some of the things that you’ve gone through, because life isn’t without challenge, and it’s not without taking risks to get to a better place.
Yeah, I have tons of pain, setbacks, failures, mistakes, voids, shortages and obstacles in my life, like everyone else. I still have them. I have what everyone else has today, but I spend minutes and moments, not days, weeks, months, and years. So I grew up with a single mom, six kids, not enough food. My mom worked two jobs, packed my dinner in a paper bag so that we could eat in between being a second grade teacher and filling up turnstiles with greeting cards at convenience stores. And yet from there, I also was abused as a nine-year-old, from a relative of mine. Then I go and I don’t have money to go to college, but find a way through that. Then I end up living a life of for me, where I make multimillions of dollars, and I end up losing everything.
2008 hits, I lose over a hundred million dollars and go bankrupt. I go from 33 homes in San Diego, a ski mountain and a golf course to literally a rented house, rented furniture, one car, three daughters under 10 years old, and a pregnant wife with my son. I then rebuild that as well, with all types of challenges, setbacks and failures, the same as anybody else, that I had to re-engineer what I was doing in multiple different directions.
But I will tell you this: through daily practices and values of gratitude, forgiveness, accountability and inspiration, through the understanding that I’m already happy, healthy, wealthy and worthy, I just continue figure out what I’m doing to interfere with it. And I only let the interference last for minutes and moments, not days, weeks, months and years. I know what I want every day, realistically, who I can help, who can help me, how to get it done.
I know how to prioritize it, but most importantly, I know how to apply my why. I’m not in search of being happy, healthy, wealthy and worthy. I already know I am. I’m figuring out what I’m doing to interfere with it. And I use linear time, pragmatic time, today, to think about and dream about an unrealistic future and past, because my yesterday and tomorrow are relative in time. Today is realistic time. So I’m going to be productive, accessible and gracious with my realistic time towards a trajectory, by empowering over a billion people to be happy, by empowering people to make more money, help more people and have more fun. Doug, I’ve never met anyone that makes a ton of money, helps a ton of people and has a ton of fun that aren’t happy.
There you go. There you go. And being happy, this idea of being happy is not stuff. This is an inside out thing. You’ve talked and I’ve seen you talk about your center, your faith, and that having a place … and you just talked about it a little bit. Maybe go just a touch deeper. Because when we talk about believe in this podcast, we’re talking about encouraging people to find their center. What do they really believe? And then from there, they could move forward. So help us understand how you’ve gone through that, and your center.
Well, I thought I was in control of everything. I lived, like most people, as a tube, food in, food out, pushing a Boulder to the top of the hill, just to have it roll down to the bottom the next day. I call it ignorant arrogance, where we know we don’t know what we don’t know, but we’re pretending like we do. I then shifted to ignorant humility, which allows me to tell people, “Look, I don’t know what I don’t know, but I’m going to do my best, learn lessons and have fun.” I’m going to live my life with service and with value by doing so. But in order to do so, I have to have faith. No longer am I going in search of anything of what’s coming to me. All I’m focused in on is what I’m becoming, because I give meaning to everything I see.
And if I give meaning to everything I see, I can’t find outside of me what I can’t find inside of me. And so I’m utilizing that enjoyment of the consistent, persistent pursuit of my potential, the five daily practices … which by the way, for your audience, everyone, my book on daily practices for free for your audience, email me, firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m more than happy to send it to everyone, email@example.com, because it ends up in being something I didn’t have when I lived in the world of just enough, buying things I didn’t need to impress people I didn’t like, thinking I was in control. I am not in control of anything outside of me. I am only in control of my mindset, my heartset and my handset.
And so in order to acknowledge that, I believe that there’s something bigger than me, an omniscient, all powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent source that loves me more than my mom loves me. And the analogy that changed my life was I remember when I was three years old. Now, my mom is a consummate second grade teacher. She’s a Sunday school teacher. She has given her life to her six children, all who went to the Ivy Leagues, graduated summa cum laude, and lived by the line, “Doctor, lawyer or failure.” My mom is an incredible mom, but she never yelled at us. She never hit us. But when I was three years old, I went to reach a hot stove. My mom slapped the crap out of my hand and screamed at me, “No.” I started to cry.
I’m like, “Mom, why are you yelling at me? What did I do? Why’d you hit me?” I couldn’t believe it. I’m like, “Why are you punishing me?” I’m three years old. She immediately hugged me.
And she’s like, “Honey, I’m not at all punishing you. I’m protecting you from what you don’t know. I’m protecting you. I’m promoting you to a safer, a better place.”
Well, I somehow connected that to my whole life, saying, “How could going bankrupt, living in a rented house with rented furniture and one car, how could that be a promotion and a protection?” Only if I had faith that there’s something that knew everything that was looking and loving me more than my mom loved me, because she’s ignorant and humble like me. She doesn’t know what she … My mom actually told me the internet was a fad, not to take my job in the internet, which paid me over a million dollars in nine months and let me buy her the house and the car that I dreamed about buying her.
I was protected and promoted when they didn’t let me into the right law school. I was protected and promoted when I took job in the internet, not as a real lawyer. I was protected and promoted when my wife threatened to leave me because I was on the wrong path. I was threatened and promoted when my dad sent me a jacket with no pockets and told me I was just like him. And I told him, “I’m nothing like you. You’re a liar, a cheater, a manipulator. I hate you,” to find out I was my father and I hated myself.
We can find the light, the love and the lessons in everything, and reconcile time, whether it’s worth to find it at that day, time and moment, by utilizing the open-ended question guide, by finding open minds, open hearts and open hands. But most importantly, realizing we are in control of our mindset, our heartset, and our handset, connected to and through an omniscient, all-powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent source that loves us more than your mom loves you, or even more than my mom loves me.
Wow. Wow. That’s a powerful statement, and to put it in that context of love and protection so you can move forward. So your lesson is that we can learn. You talk about gratitude a lot. And when you talk about the difficult experiences that you’ve gone through, you’ve shown how you have used those to move yourself forward. Talk a little bit about the inside feeling of how you feel about those, that sense of gratitude that you speak about. I’ve seen you speak about that. Help us understand that and how we can apply that in our lives and build on a belief system, like you’ve been talking about.
I love the word participation. I look at what people think about me, say about me. And I say to myself, “What did I do to participate in their perception of me, in their activity? What did I do to participate, and what am I supposed to learn through that to find the light, the love and the lessons in everything?” But the one thing that most people don’t talk about beyond participation in gratitude, the coherence of remembering to be thankful and actually being thankful … which believe it or not is more difficult than anything else. It takes 0.1 seconds, it is free, but by tonight, most people will forget to say thank you. And by tomorrow, most of us will forget to say thank you. And within three days, almost all of us will forget to say thank you. That’s how hard it is to participate in gratitude.
But beyond participation, the reconciliation of time within the context of gratitude … This is why I talk about realistic, linear time, to know our daily practices today, to be unrealistic and relative of yesterday and the future. The reason it’s so important is that there is light, love and lessons in everything. Most people spend the majority of their time with people, things and events that bleed them; jobs they don’t like, relationships that bleed us, events, situations that bleed us, instead of reconciling time and saying to ourselves, “Hey, I know there’s light, love and lessons in Doug, but is it worth my time today, today?”
And if it is, then we can go ahead and participate in the relationship, the situation, the book, the idea, whatever it may be, or the perception of someone else of us. People waste so much time with other people’s perceptions instead of their own. They’re so worried about what other people think, say, do and want for them. It’s terrible. Trust me. You should only be concerned of your participation in that other person’s perception of you.
I have three teenage daughters. And if I could take back all the time, emotion, value and friendships that they’ve worried about because of what other people have said, done, or thought, and I’ll say to them, “How are you worried about what they think of you when you don’t even know or worry about what you think of you?” Why not just ask yourself, “What am I doing to participate in what those people think of me, and what am I supposed to learn from it?” Don’t worry about the judgements and conditions and attacks that you feel or think or perceive. I can’t tell you how much time, emotion, value and relationships I’ve wasted on thoughts about what other people think about me that were so far off, that were so far off, that I just wasted my time, emotion, value and relationship over worrying or complaining about somebody else’s perception of me, when all I had to do is ask, “What am I doing to participate in the perception, and what am I supposed to learn from it?”
There’s light, love and lessons in everyone. Gratitude is the ability to not only find the light, the love and the lessons, but to reconcile time. Is it worth it? Are they bleeding me or feeding me? And let’s go ahead and find the light, the love and lessons in the people that are feeding us and feed that. Surround yourself with the right people and the right ideas. It’s much easier to have coherence of gratitude to utilize your 0.1 seconds that’s free, in its most advantageous manner.
Yeah, yeah. I love all the perspectives that you bring about how we participate, what we do. Let’s go back a little bit and talk, because we’ve talked before about this idea, and you talked about the direct selling, this idea of the American dream and this idea of overcoming these things. And if we talk about the challenge with unhappiness and that it’s hurting America, if we were to get to the happiness part, if we were to put these practices into our daily lives, as you talk about, what do you see we could change in our community, in our state, in our country?
Yeah. Well, first, clearing the interference not only between us and what we’re connected to and through, but clearing the interference between us and everyone else, right? When we have less interference or less friction in the distribution of inspiration, to be truly connected in a world of more than enough, then abundance can flow freely. Let me show you how it works. So if we can, number one, appreciate our differences and our similarities … not just the similarities, right? I get when people, “Oh, we’re all human.” Okay, great. We can appreciate that we all have bodies and minds and we’re all human, but why not appreciate the differences, right, utilizing the weaknesses to move to a place where they’re strengths, and maximizing the strengths of one another? Because as a whole, if we appreciate, if we live in a value-add world, not a zero-sum world, when we appreciate, we expand, which is what the universe is doing, expanding and growing and accelerating.
Now, in that same context of how we can unite with one another, clear the interference that we perceive exists between one another, the differences that are not appreciated, once we appreciate the differences, we can acknowledge and recognize the differences by giving it away, by allowing it to be lost, stolen or manipulated with no judgment or conditions. Because the only way we can acknowledge and recognize the connectivity, the inspiration between us, the similarities and the differences that are appreciated, is to give it away, to acknowledge it and recognize it.
Now, most people stop there. What I try to encourage people to do is to ask, to be more interested than interesting, to not live in a zero-sum game, but to live in full faith that there’s more than enough of everything for everyone. So not only do I want everyone to appreciate the similarities and differences, to recognize and acknowledge them by giving them away, but I want you to add value by asking for help. By utilizing the open-ended question template, by simply asking people and finding the open minds, open hearts and open hands, “What are you doing today? What do you like about it? What don’t you like about it? Would it help you if I did this? Would it help you if I could do this? Would it help you if I introduced you to this? Would it help you if” … Then you could circle back to complete it by saying, “Do you know anyone that can help me?”
See, what I want to create is a community of not only power sponsors, people that can help one another, but even furthermore, especially with social media, a community of sponsors, people who know people that can help us. Never before … you and I are a little bit longer in the tooth, Doug. We remember a day where we only had access to our communities, to a newspaper article, at best a TV show.
Yeah, right. Right.
Not today. We have access to 7.6 billion people. Our frequency is our neighborhood. Let’s elevate the awareness. Let’s elevate others to elevate ourselves by asking, “Do you know anyone that can help me?” If you ask for help, which is just as important as giving it, I think it’s critical to unite through not only giving, but receiving, by asking for help through appreciation, acknowledgement and hope.
Beautiful. And you talk, this connects … And we’ll wrap here, because I know we’ve got a short period of time to chat. But you talk about being open and building relationships and asking that question and listening to people. And you talk about this idea of a billion people being happy, but to empower a billion people … because you can’t make somebody happy. Help us understand how we can be part of empowering somebody with us, somebody that we know, so that they can find that path to happiness.
I love that. Well, first of all, it’s over a billion people. I always tell people the only thing that you want to kill in your lifetime is your limitations. [inaudible 00:23:17]-
There you go. I like it. Okay, over a billion people. I’m with you there.
Over a billion people. And yes, the only way that I can get there is by empowering others to empower others. So I’m looking for a thousand people like you, Doug, that I know in your lifetime will empower a thousand people to empower a thousand people. A thousand times a thousand’s a million. A million times a thousand’s a billion. Now, how do we do it? Well, let’s not have people listen to us. What I want people to do is to be more interested than interesting. I want people to learn what people are listening for. I want people to find the open minds, open hearts and open hands and find out what they’re listening for, and how can we add value to what they’re listening for, and how can they add value to what we’re listening for?
And when we are in this abundant faith-based perspective of more than enough of everything for everyone, with an omniscient, all-powerful, all-knowing, omnipresent source that loves us more than our mom, we can empower other people with the heartset and the handset to not only create abundance for themselves and live in an infinite world, but empower others to do the same. We could share our heartset, the way we feel, and we could share our handset, the productivity, accessibility and gratitude, by sharing our mindset, heartset and handset, by finding open minds, open hearts and open hands to utilize the mindset, handset and heartset.
It’s amazing how much more productivity, accessibility and gratitude there’ll be in the world. And the more productive the world is, right, the more value the world is providing, the more accessible the world is. When we’re more accessible, we are able to access more, too. So we bring a duplicative value to accessibility of not only being accessible of others, but receiving. And then that all will reconcile into gratitude by utilizing manmade, constructive time to find out and prioritize, is it worth it to find the light, the love and the lessons in those people and situations that feed us so we can feed those, maximizing our love and truth, maximizing our potential, allowing us to enjoy, to be happy with the consistent, every day, persistent without quit, pursuit of our own potential?
Everyone born and appreciating the gifts that we’ve been given, not what other people [inaudible 00:25:36] for us, not what’s missing, not what we have, but what we want, our potential. And all of this will aggregate and accumulate and coordinate and collaborate together to create a greater expectation, greater perception of the participation in the journey that we’re all on together as a collective consciousness, reminding, remembering and recollecting.
What is it? What do you think? Those sure sound like words of togetherness. So let’s all remind, remember and recollect together. Let’s empower one another to empower others to be more interesting, to be kind, not only kind, but kind to our future selves by doing good deeds. My name, David, means beloved. My last name, Meltzer, means servant. Let us all be David Meltzers. Let us all be beloved servants to one another by asking how we could be of service and value and asking for help. I promise you, you will make a lot of money, help a lot of people and have a lot of fun, and most importantly, be happy,
Be happy. Well, there you go, my friend, David Meltzer, what a beloved servant, and words of wisdom. And I think that being interested in somebody else and putting that relationship as a priority out there, helping us be happy. And if we are empowering others to find that source of happiness themselves, we can create unity and make our communities a better place. David, thank you so much for taking your time with us. We appreciate it. God bless you. Take care, and we’ll look forward to seeing you soon.
Thank you for elevating others to elevate yourself, my friend. David@dmeltzer.com. I’m here to be of service. Thank you, Doug. Take care.
All right. And thank you all for joining us on Believe. We’ll look forward to seeing you next time.